But then, I had enough of the resignation talk. I rather kill myself rather than talk about it. I don’t want to slice myself again by opening the wound. I’ll rather let the scar visible, let the mark stays... because I know eventually it will heal on its own up until it will fade away right in front of my very own eyes. Anyhow I’m never scared of being wounded and bruised, of falling down the pit because to learn the wisdom of being hurt, the feel of excruciating pain will just make me a better person in the end.
I prefer to let my bravado diverted into dedicating this emotional blah-blah to the person who was not only with me during our crazy pictorials, throwing blunt critics to the subject of our ridicule, but who remained to be faithful with his principles, to follow what he think is right, ready to conquer and battle you to the ground just to defend his virtue and honor. Yes you! You know exactly who you are.
We started as strangers who doesn’t give a heck to each other. He thinks I am just a shallow simpleton who just loves to go out at night. And I just flip my hair and turn my back to him for acting as if he is a royalty or something. I am loud, but he is louder..I love to bet and I don’t really mind if I lose, he always proves himself and wants the victory by all means just to make a point.
But funny how fate can just make anything collide and start a spark. And what’s funnier is that the spark started a fire..and it’s burning with its highest zeal that anyone around can feel the scorching heat.
It started with him ridiculing me, pointing me to be grilled as we were literally dined in in “ Point and Grill" restaurant. We had so much fun that day that my impression of him as a prima donna was lowered down to a spoiled bitch. And soon it just happened that we both don’t abuse our lungs by smoking and we both dreaded the taste of alcohol and so we started the customary lunching out together. And soon the serious talks started and I was surprised that this gay has depth. Living in a world when the third sex were judged very easily by illiterates and were condoned by the society, I admit that yes, I was once one of those .And so being with him, with undeniable intelligence and incomparable wits,he instantly changed my perception of him from a prima-donna , to a spoiled bitch to a respectable,intelligent person. Right there and then, he earned my highest form of respect that most of the time I let the people who doesn’t really know him to know how respectable he is.Instead of seeing him as a threat(for I myself has this competitive nature) it rather heightened my curiosity to know him better, to know what more he can offer. And as a person who happens to be the top of the pack when I was in college, meeting him eventually led me to gave up my position willingly for I acknowledge that he is greater than I am. He is not only a man of words, but he puts things into actions.Concise in decision makings, fatal in words, a total venom to others.
When everyone is too scared to talk, he yells. When everyone‘s pretending to be blinded of reality, he sees the truth. When everyone tries to conceal and cover the flaws, he flaunts who he is unabashedly. He is who he is. No one can change that fact. He can bend the rule but know how to save his ass out. He is smart, fierce and determined…and I am impressed!
We share the same views, we share the same passion of living, of art, photography, writing and fashion, of intelligent talks, of weaving dreams and trying to make it a reality, of using the talents God has vested on us. We both enjoy the fun of being young and crazy, of making fun of people and not denying how bad we are, of trying to defeat each other through poses and pictures, of trying to win first the finest Vogue and Preview copy in the shelves. We both acknowledge the strengths of each other, and are not afraid to admit our weaknesses. With us together, we are not afraid to be us, no masks, none whatsoever. With two great minds working together,the outcome will always be exemplar. A lot were intimidated by him, by us.A lot of people were trying to penetrate the world we created..but I guess in the end they will give up for not reaching where we stand, for not even scratching the wall that we built, long enough to leave a mark. He was with me during the times I really need someone to talk to, and someone who is so willing to listen while he weighs which side has the better point of view, he makes me laugh so hard to the brink that it's almost too scandalous..right in the middle of the crowd. When I thought everyone’s made of plastic, he just proved that one can always remain genuine without compromising his identity just to fit in. I just love his ideas, and how he got the best of me. Who would have thought that I can wear a beautiful gown made of garbage bag in the first place?
And now that we share the same sentiments…jobless but happy..while we are trying to make fun of a poem about a police officer and adding some flavor just to humor it..I know despite our loud, echoing laughter in the dark alley that temporarily disturbed the silence of the dark, starry night…sadness hung in the air as we both know that things will change starting today. We both have plans, but with unfortunate events I guess he has to do his thing first as I will do mine. We might not be together like we used to before…but the bond will always be so strong.I have a responsibility to him, and I know that all the dreams we made together while making fun of a man reading the Bible in a passenger jeep will eventually turn into a reality. I will not allow to lose a person whom I loved dearly aside from Dave. I value so much what we have been together and I will not just let it end here.
Thank you so much Jepoy for sticking with me and for accepting me of who I am. And thank you for letting me in, in your life. A friend is right, I just found my soul sister and I’m glad it’s you. I know this sounds so cheesy but I do want everybody to know how great you are. A lot of people might raise their eyebrows for not seeing what I saw in you, but I guess, they’re just too busy listening to your jokes more than listening to the beautiful sonata of your soul.
This will not be the end. It is actually the start of another journey for both of us. Just keep the fire burning.We are both talented and we deserve a lot better. Remember the plans always and we’ll stick with it. I know despite what might happen, you won’t change as I see a real person in you .What's to change anyway?I will always be here to take your pictures when you need me through the years until everything is wrinkly with old age and it will look obscene to the young generation at that point. I will always be here to crack jokes and to listen to your talks(sometimes you think you are Oprah of the Philippines), if you want to make "ukay" to find something unique,or to "make ukay" just to make fun of the items we see or of the people we meet in the hallway I will always be here...you know that.Remember in a long run, we will play mahjong together in the patio when both of us will be consumed by back pains and arthritis.
Fate will always bind us together, I know it will!
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